I once trusted the world I was raised in to have the answers — trusted the doctors to heal, trusted the system to care. When the crushing pain of arachnoiditis entered my life, I did what I had been conditioned to do: I sought out the so-called best that modern medicine had to offer. I believed that prestigious institutions like Penn Medicine and Johns Hopkins would see me, hear me, and help me. Instead, I found myself trapped in a hollow machine that mistook sedation for care and profit for healing. At Penn Medicine, the surgery that was supposed to restore my health left me irreparably harmed. Their hands cut deep, but it was their indifference that wounded me the most. When I sought justice for the life-altering damage they caused, the legal system closed its doors. I was told I had no case — that my suffering was simply an unfortunate side effect, not a wrong worth correcting. Their betrayal made it clear: the system protects its own, and the people caught in its gears are expendable.
At Johns Hopkins, I searched for hope, believing that a renowned teaching hospital would rise to the challenge of a rare, devastating diagnosis. Instead, I was offered an insult wrapped in clinical formality: an outrageously high dose of opiates, no solutions, and no vision of healing. There was no investigation, no innovation, no curiosity — only chemical submission disguised as compassion. From there, RA Pain Services under Dr. Lesneski continued the reckless cycle, funneling narcotics into a body that was already breaking, doing nothing to repair the true wounds beneath the surface. I became another casualty of a system that treats symptoms with sedation rather than seeking to understand the soul behind the suffering. Over time, I was buried under more than twenty-five prescriptions — each one a bandage over a deeper wound they refused to acknowledge. I was bedridden, chemically fogged, and spiritually suffocated, my once-vibrant soul reduced to a patient ID number in a system that never intended to set me free.
Yet even in that pit of despair, something ancient stirred within me — a sacred ember the system could not extinguish. Beneath the layers of pharmaceuticals and hopelessness, a memory older than this lifetime whispered to me: Remember who you are. Remember what you carry. Remember the way home. I realized, with crystalline clarity, that if I was to survive — if I was to truly live — I would have to step outside everything I had been taught to trust. The institutions would not save me. The drugs would not heal me. The only way forward was the ancient way, the natural way, the sovereign way.
My path back to life was not paved with ease or comfort. It was raw. It was sacred. It demanded the full dismantling of the lies I had been fed about my own body, my own power, my own possibilities. I turned to Reiki and felt the first true current of Divine energy flow through my broken frame. I surrendered to the sacred frequencies of sound therapy, allowing ancient vibrations to re-tune what pain and chemicals had distorted. I embraced yoga not merely as exercise, but as a prayer of restoration for a body that had been betrayed. I returned to the Earth, to the ancient wisdom of herbal medicine, flower therapy, crystals, and aromatherapy, each a living ally singing the song of my reawakening. I practiced ecotherapy, letting the soil, the trees, and the whisper of the wind retrain my shattered nervous system. I sought healing through EFT and TFT tapping, acupuncture, chiropractic care, hypnosis, NLP, cognitive reprogramming, and art therapy — weaving together every sacred science that honored not just the body, but the spirit that animates it.
Each step was a holy act of rebellion against the narrative that I was broken beyond repair. Every breath of fresh air, every sip of plant medicine, every prayer uttered from the depths of my soul was a silent vow: I will not be defined by their failure to see me. I will not be owned by a system that profits from my pain. I will not forget who I am. Healing was never something given to me by external hands; it was a sacred birthright waiting to be reclaimed. Step by sacred step, I walked myself home.
The journey was not fast, nor was it painless. It demanded that I confront the deepest shadows of my being, that I release the lies, the grief, and the rage that had woven themselves into my wounded body. But in surrendering to the process, I found something the system could never give and could never take away: my sovereignty. My wholeness. My living remembrance of the sacred intelligence encoded within every cell of my being.
Today, I am not a patient. I am not a victim. I am not a number in someone else's ledger of dependency and despair. I am living proof that what they call "incurable" is simply what they refuse to understand. I am living proof that the body is not a broken machine, but a temple of Light capable of miracles. I am living proof that the human spirit, once awakened, can dismantle the strongest chains of control.
I share my story not to glorify my suffering, but to illuminate the path for others still lost in the fog of forgetting. I share it as a sacred torch to ignite the dormant flame within every soul still waiting to remember that they, too, were born for more. Born for freedom. Born for wholeness. Born for truth.
There is another way. And it has been within you all along.